Mother Of The Year
by mousestalker
Summary: When Alistair broke up with Fenaria Mahariel he left some of himself behind with her. Now she has to deal with a broken heart and being a mother.


No man stood by her when the baby was born. A mage served as her midwife and a dwarf attended the mage. The human sized baby nearly tore her apart in what seemed an eternity of agony and blood. Of the two men she would have wanted to be there, one was too old to travel and the other had abandoned her to be a king.

When Velanna held the baby for Fenaria to admire, she noted the rounded human features. Sigrun eagerly asked her what the name would be for her beautiful boy. She wearily said "Urthem, his name is Urthem". Velanna gave her commander a long slow look, then nodded.

Rather than spend her days in confinement with her newborn, Fenaria resolved to act as Warden Commander. Such was the thoroughness with which she had routed the darkspawn, the nobles and the Crows that few questioned her fitness to rule thus encumbered. A woman who slays a broodmother while great with child is not one to be lightly challenged, least of all a woman who knows the old elven magics.

Urthem was just beginning to crawl when word came to the Keep that the king was returning. Fenaria hadn't seen her former love since the rainy day when she first arrived. She looked out over the battlements at Alistair and his entourage. They were mounted this time, she noted with surprise. Alistair sat a horse very well. Perhaps he did learn something in the stables after all she hough with a slight smirk. She was surprised at how attractive she still found him. Of course his riding may have had something to with it. Men really do look better on top of horses, she thought. Then with a smooth motion she began walking to the main hall. She would receive her lord and master there.

The hall was crowded of course. The nobles were filling almost every available spot. Velanna had stationed herself where she could hear and see but not be observed. Oghren, Sigrun and Anders were all clustered to the right. Nathaniel was nowhere to be found. She rather suspected that if she pressed him later he's simply say he was out scouting. It was times like this when Fenaria wished either Zevran or Leliana were around. She had heard Leliana was off working for the Chantry and that Zevran was working free lance. She needed a way to get in touch with him.

The doors opened and Fenaria rose to greet her guests. Her smile was a great deal warmer than she felt. She'd just as soon never see this man again or his entourage. He had dumped her, forgotten his promise to make her chancellor and shipped her off to a fortress teeming with darkspawn and conspiracies. Maybe he didn't expect it, but she rather thought Eamon and Anora had a good idea of what was here when Alistair came up with his brilliant plan. Maybe they didn't know about the darkspawn but Fenaria would bet every aravel her clan had that they knew about the nobles' plots.

And as attractive as Alistair looked, and he did look absolutely delicious... Fenaria shook herself mentally. However desirable he might be in theory, he married someone else to produce heirs that so far remained unproduced. Grey Wardens or not, they had one baby. If she came up pregnant again..., Fenaria shook herself again. There was no chance of that ever happening.

Alistair strode forward, Eamon just behind.

Fenaria did a full, formal curtsey. "Welcome to Vigil's Keep, your Majesty. Welcome your Grace. Welcome all who attend upon you."

Alistair replied more stiffly "Thank you Warden Commander. If we could refresh ourselves for now, we would like to confer with you privately at your earliest convenience."

"Of course, your Majesty. We will wait upon your summons. Seneschal Varel will show you to your rooms and see to your comfort."

Fenaria curtsied less deeply this time. Alistair and his company exited. Fenaria noted how his eyes had swept the room. Was he expecting to find a crib in a formal reception room? The assorted nobles chattered amongst themselves. Fenaria signaled an end to the gathering and went off to the nursery.

Her young son was very good looking she thought reflectively. What few features he had of hers were more than complemented by the ones he had from his father. She had a feeling he was going to be very tall indeed, taller even than Alistair.

"He's a bit of a blob, isn't he?"

Fenaria whirled around angrily to see the blob's father grinning at her. The grin faded.

"He's a bit of a problem, you know." he said quietly, checking to see that no one was in ear shot.

Of course no one was. Fenaria had sent his nurse off to get her lunch when she arrived.

"How so?" Fenaria asked coldly.

"Anora suspects that he's mine. She knows about how Gray Wardens aren't supposed to be able to have children. And here he is, his mother a Grey Warden and his probable father one as well. If I acknowledge him, he will be dead within a week."

"I'd rather you didn't acknowledge him" Fenaria retorted. "He has better things to do with his life than be a king's bastard. I don't want him near the throne."

Alistair winced at her words, but replied mildly "That's settled then. He doesn't get to be my heir."

"Good" was the only reply he got.

"You're still angry then".

"No, actually I'm not. I just don't want to be entangled in it all again. Here I have my son, I have responsibilities and I have purpose."

"But you don't have love." he replied "For what it's worth, neither do I".

"Well, you made that choice for both of us." Fenaria could feel her anger rising. She had promised she would remain calm and cool. Creators, did she still have feelings for this man?

"I did what I thought was best for the kingdom. That didn't mean I wanted it. I didn't want to have to make that choice, but it was forced on me."

She looked him straight in the eyes. "Why are you bringing all of this up?" She demanded.

"Because, all I've been thinking about is" and he grabbed her, held her and kissed her.

She was the most powerful mage in all of Ferelden. Templar training or no she could turn him into a stone, freeze him solid or turn him into a puppet. Instead she leaned into his arms and kissed him back. Part of her fought against it. She still wanted him to suffer, to hurt as she had. But what she really wanted was him.

Afterwards, they found themselves in a tangle of clothes on the nursery floor. Urthem was sleeping soundly.

"So what now?" he asked.

Fenaria's sensible side came to the fore. "You leave in a couple of days and we don't do this ever again once you're gone. I won't be your mistress. This is my home."

"So what about us?"

"We have some better memories now. I daresay when you leave, we'll have even more." She grinned at him.

He grinned back, then sobered.

"How did he happen?" asked Alistair, pointing at his sleeping son.

"You don't remember? I'm pretty sure you were there at Redcliffe Castle, with the darkspawn attacking Denerim and a forced march in the morning, the quickie in your bedroom just after Morrigan told me about her plan. I can still remember it."

"I know about sex."

"You've learned fast then" she said, venting a little of her anger.

"I meant about how you were even able to conceive. It isn't supposed to happen."

"I wasn't supposed to survive either." She replied.

"They're connected? Just what was Morrigan up to?" he pressed.

"I'm not certain of the details, just the theory. Avernus and I have discussed it at some length, mostly by correspondence of course." She temporized.

"You really don't want Urthem to know?" He stumbled slightly over his son's name.

"He deserves not to grow up with that. I don't see where your knowledge helped you in any way. People may suspect, but as the years pass and you don't say anything, doubts will grow. And if anyone asks, I will deny it." She said flatly. "I want him to have a different destiny than to be a king. He's my son, I want him to be great. I think he will be great. But not as a king."

"Oh" Alistair said quietly.

"We'd better get dressed" she said after a few moments of silence. "His nurse should be back any minute now."

They rose and dressed each other in their finery. Fenaria smoothed Alistair's hair and gave him a quick kiss. They broke off when the door opened and their son's nurse bustled in.

One week later, Alistair could see her small, slim figure in the distance. He waved at her. Everyone on the Vigil's battlements waved back.

All in all, the visit had gone better than he expected. Fenaria was odder than before and when you say that about a Dalish mage you're saying something. Alistair wondered if that might have to do with her son, their son, but then he recalled Velanna. Perhaps it was a Dalish thing, he thought. The oddest thing of all was when Fenaria had made him promise to keep an eye out for Morrigan. She said Morrigan was probably very angry right now. Anything that annoyed the swamp witch was something Alistair approved of. He did have the oddest feeling he had missed something very important.

He turned his mind to thoughts of home. He was dreading the return to Denerim. Unlike a certain elf, Anora's idea of foreplay was to read a report on the turnip harvest. If he started a war, maybe he could avoid returning to the palace. Fighting Orlais was probably a bad idea, although Loghain would be up for it. On second thought, avoiding Anora and being stuck with Loghain was a very bad idea. Maybe he should deal with the Korcari Wilders. They had some decent cheeses down that way he recalled... 


End file.
